The Journey Is the Reward

I used to think that the wins and losses defined me as a person, shaping my identity and dictating my self-worth. Each victory was celebrated as a significant step forward in my journey, while every setback felt like an insurmountable obstacle that I had to overcome. However, as I grow older and gain more life experience, I am increasingly coming to the realization that both the wins and the losses ultimately go down the same drain. It’s not merely about stacking up a collection of successes or meticulously avoiding failures. Instead, it’s about the journey itself—the intricate process, the rich tapestry of experiences, and the meaningful moments that occur in between the highs and lows.

When I was younger, I found myself obsessively focused on outcomes. Whether it was in the realm of sports, my academic pursuits, or the various challenges life threw my way, I measured my self-worth and progress solely by tangible results. Did I win the game or match against my opponent? Did I secure that coveted promotion at work? Did I achieve the specific goals I had set for myself? Yet, what I failed to recognize during those formative years was that the true essence of growth wasn’t rooted in the final outcome—it was embedded in the effort expended, the lessons learned, and the relentless spirit of trying again and again, regardless of the immediate results.

Jiu Jitsu, a martial art I have come to deeply appreciate, teaches this profound lesson in the most honest and straightforward manner possible. You show up on the mat, you may get smashed by your training partner, you tap out, and then you find yourself doing it all over again. Initially, it can feel disheartening and resemble failure. However, with time, you begin to understand that every roll, every submission attempt, and every escape maneuver is part of a much larger journey of growth. You don’t improve merely by winning all the time; true improvement comes from consistently showing up, engaging in problem-solving, and wholeheartedly embracing the struggle that accompanies the learning process.

Life, in many ways, mirrors this lesson. The job promotions, the awards, the milestones we achieve—they may provide a fleeting sense of satisfaction and accomplishment in the moment, but those feelings often fade into the background. Conversely, the struggles we face, the setbacks we endure, and the unexpected detours we encounter can sting and challenge us, yet they too eventually pass. What truly lasts, what remains etched in our memories, is the journey itself. It’s the people we meet along the way, the diverse experiences we accumulate, and the invaluable lessons we carry with us as we navigate through life.

So now, I strive to remind myself of this important truth: Enjoy the process. Stay present in each moment. Embrace both the triumphs and the failures, recognizing that neither one defines who you are at your core. What truly matters is that you keep moving forward, keep pushing through the challenges, and keep engaging with life in all its complexities.

Because in the end, the wins and losses don’t matter nearly as much as how you lived your life in between those moments of success and failure. It’s the richness of the experiences you gather along the way that shapes your character and ultimately defines your journey.