The Beginning

The decision to become a stay-at-home dad was one born out of necessity and love. My wife and I had always envisioned a balanced partnership, but when the demands of her career intensified with COVID 19, and me as an educator being remote, we knew one of us needed to be home full-time. I was an Elementary Physical Education teacher at the time and it was like the wild west. No protocols in place, everyone masked up, and anytime one of my kids sneezed, I had to get them tested and be out of work for 3 days waiting for results. Initially, friends and family were surprised, some even skeptical. But my wife and I were committed to making it work because family comes first.

Adjusting to this new role was not without its challenges. Gone were the structured days of a nine-to-five job. For years I was always on the go. I was teaching, coaching, MCing school events and hosting a variety of programs for the school community. Instead, I found myself juggling feeding schedules, school runs, and an endless list of chores and doctors appointments. I’m still working on my scheduling… I was so focused on trying to get everything done for the house that I would end up getting nothing done or everything would be half finished. Mentally, I was not prepared for this transition. I was not in a good headspace to manage everything. I had to get on a routine and a schedule of what days will I do certain things. Days for grocery shopping, laundry, or cleaning toilets. I’m still a work in progress and it’s almost been 3 years, but I am better than I was yesterday.

I have also learned to not compare to others. Social media is a bittersweet tool. For me, and I’m sure I’m not alone, I would get in these ruts because I would focus on what everyone else was able to do as a family. I was comparing how houses looked, yards, what activities they were doing, where they traveled and it got to the point where I stopped. I shut it down for a bit and just focused on me, my family, and our house.

 But amidst the chaos, there was something profoundly fulfilling about being the anchor at home.